With you I know why

The past month has been so hectic. Fingers crossed, by passing the examination I took yesterday, I can have a slight breather before I gear myself up for the upcoming one in the next few months. I wanted to blog about so many things, now let's see if I can recall. :P

First off! Let me show you my new hair!

Okay, maybe not so new any more. :( Oddly enough, people have only started asking me about it now. -_-

Scored full mark in a random mystery shopper evaluation. Boss was glad :D otherwise we were probably going to get it from head office. D: I'm hoping I met what my boss expects out of me (Sometimes I think he expects me to be superwoman :/ but he's still undoubtedly the BEST BOSS EVER!) and that this can slightly change the mindset of people who are adamant that I am not a team player and only take orders from a certain authority.

DOCTORS, WHY YOU NO WRITE PRESCRIPTION PROPERLY?! Anyone who can impress me by telling me all items accurately? 

Me being careless. Nothing new. Only that it'll take 54217658123 years to heal. T_T 

I am still idly waiting for the approval of my PR which I lodged almost 5 months ago. Never mind the fact that my friend got it in 6 weeks. Boo. :( Meanwhile, I have already started my income provider hunt for the year 2013 and attended interviews. Nonsense, there is no such thing as being too efficient.

I am a really, really lucky and blessed girl. I feel so loved! God has been too kind to me. So many times I've been struck by overwhelming gratefulness that I know I don't need anything more ie "I totally suck at the sports I love, BUT I DON'T CARE!" xP Those days before heading abroad for studies, how whiny, dissatisfied, hard to please and vengeful I was; I knew despite everything, Adelaide made a better person. Whether it was the genuinely kindhearted people I was surrounded with, or circumstances I will never know. Gradually but surely, I am different.

Met up with Lisa, Ern Chee later tonight and soon Chean/Viv in a few weeks time. This month is going to be absolutely fantastic! :)

I hope all my lovelies are doing much better than okay and love to hear from you girls soon! ♥ 

Behaviour modification

This new environment has had several surprises in store for me. My schedule has been packed to the brim, but I do enjoy the rare occasion of having my own time. I've got hold of this new book I'm dying to read but every time I lay my hands on it, I can feel my 'Acts, Law & Legislation' book throwing death glances at me, reminding me that my written exams are less than 2 months away.

The trouble with me is that I'm always trying to get too far ahead of myself. My lecturer's wise words to me once were, "Take time to smell the roses." I have heard too many times of 'This will be the last time' and before you know it, the first time I heard it was 3 years ago.

Discipline can either make or break you. With sheer determination it can catapult you towards your goal or it can release the rebellious streak in us. There is only so much one can take before you hit the realisation that we are better than that and we deserve more.

Last year, I defeated one. And I'm defeating them, one at a time. ;)

Felice

"Sometimes, people do bad things. It doesn't mean that they are bad people. It just means that they are human. And human make mistakes."

As much as it is our world, it would make me happy knowing you are not waiting for me on the other side.

Step by step

Back then, I blogged often because I felt that I needed a space to pen my thoughts and feelings or how I need to constantly remind myself that life is beautiful. But now, I no longer find the need to put it in words because I actually feel myself living it.

I remember living those days of a worry wart. How I disliked it when things didn't go according to plan and how uncomfortable I am when faced with a new environment. It's only recently that I have learnt how to focus on the countless amazing things I have in my life and leave the rest to God. Because no matter how much we plan or worry, unexpected things are bound to lie ahead.

This time around, I believe I have found my balance. This trusting thing, I'm still afraid, but I'm learning and I hope one day, it will fill the voids I never thought would ever be filled. “Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. It is the belief that God will do what is right."

These words, I felt like it needed to be directed at someone who may be reading this.

"Stop beating yourself up and rehearsing your mistakes. Because of Him, we have been set free."

Chapter 23

It is all happening in barely the blink of an eye. Everything new and foreign. It was made easier thanks to Lisa, who introduced me to some of her friends, one which is SO MUCH LIKE ME, it made me ask her, "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE THE SAME TYPE OF FRIENDS?!" xD But it took spending time with her to realise how much I actually missed her, how much of laughter we've let slip by being apart and how important it is to make the most of remaining time.

I have been keeping busy, but I do enjoy the occasional time spent alone. So often before bed, I find myself thinking of my dear ones. Wondering what they may be doing, how it would be if they were here, or what they'd say to my stories. The most precious thing I've learnt being away from home is to truly appreciate family and friends. Now when I think of them, it is no longer the dull heartache that came with it but rather a certain type of fondness that makes me feel nothing but blessed and loved.

Once again, too blessed to have an amazing boss. One who is patient and willing to teach or offer far so much. He wasn't kidding when he said he treats me like family. He is so cute when he goes, "What happened?!" when any of us calls his name, as if we created trouble of some sort. :P And I love our Thursday coffee sessions when we just sit down and he educates me everything I need to know. Or how he feeds me with pandan chiffon cake or pineapple tarts, but that's not the point. x) I really believe that I am in the best position for learning.

And this is only the beginning of better things to come. :)

Nutshell

The year 2011 was easily one of the best years of my life. Everything worked out with perfect timing and minimal hiccups. The laughs I had this year easily surpassed the amount I had in the past 3 years accumulated.

Apart from finding a hobby, I managed to find a bunch of amazing people who loved me for who I am. They made me believe that I deserve so much more.

Trust him to kill us with zero remorse on his face.

The year has been a great teacher, as I have learnt and grown so much. I am still learning, and growing. I also need to remind myself that changes arise from taking the first step. And that step has changed everything for me.

Really, nothing in this world makes me happier and feel more blessed than sharing life's greatest moments by being surrounded by people you love and who love you.

It is a great feeling, knowing that your shoulders are slightly lighter and you're one step closer to the finishing line. I have just been so, so blessed. None of this could have happened if it weren't for God's grace, my family, my lifegroup leader (Chee) and friends. My gratefulness can only be delivered so much by words but in fact, it is so much more.

It's quite ironic that the moment I decided to leave this place I found the reasons to make me stay. But that's what life is all about, throwing unexpected things along your way, always looking at how we take them as they come along.

We had our last night on a good note. Plenty of laughter, just the way I love it. Sure, there was a tinge of sorrow but it's all good knowing we will always have each other.

Thank you everyone for all the good things you have brought into my life. Thank you for finally making me feel that this is home. I am believing and hoping that this new place and new chapter has greater things in store for me.

I also need to remind myself the reason I chose to come to here.

If it happens again, it is no longer a mistake, it is a choice.

Singleness

A well written piece. I thought someone could use this. :)

'I haven’t spent much of my life being single. But I wouldn’t call it having a girlfriend either.

“Single” isn’t the right word, but it’s the first word that comes to mind.

It was keeping the opposite sex around to keep me comfortable. Because I thought that’s what I needed to be happy.

I needed women, in one way or another, to be content. To be satisfied with my life.

Being “single” was easy. I made the most of it. I went on all the dates I could fit into my schedule. Flirted with every woman I saw. I used pornography regularly, and I didn’t have to hide it from anyone. Being single was great. I may have been on my own, but I never had to be alone. I could be with anyone I wanted. Whenever I wanted.

Unfortunately…

You’re not making the most of being single if you’re still having sex outside of marriage.

You’re not making the most of being single if you’re using pornography.

You’re not making the most of being single if you’re fantasizing about someone else.

You’re not making the most of being single if all you can think about is finding a partner, and asking God why you DON’T have one yet.

Making the most of being single means being on your own. It’s just you and God. Being single is about discovering who you are, setting personal boundaries, knowing your likes and dislikes, your passions, and the desires of your heart.

If you don’t know these things about yourself, you’re going to date the wrong person. You will end up living a story that is unintended for you.

God will never give us anything we cannot handle. We always assume this means loss and suffering and sickness. You know, the “bad.” But sometimes God knows we aren’t ready to handle the “good” yet. Fame, fortune, and yes, even husbands and wives. His timing. Not ours.

It’s not your fault you want someone so badly. It’s natural. It’s how our hearts are wired. God made Adam. And God realized that it was NOT good for Adam to be alone. Men and women are meant to be together. We are meant to have someone to do life with. But Adam didn’t just GET Eve the moment he wanted her. Adam received Eve when God saw that Adam was ready. When God saw that it was NO LONGER good for Adam to be alone.

Are you ready? Truly ready?

The church has glamorized marriage. With all these good-looking, young couples around us marrying at 19 and 21, talking about how much sex they are having and how good it is to be married to their best friend. We want it, and we want it badly – who doesn’t?

But just like anything else, the enemy will take what is meant for good and use it to distract you from where God wants you to be.

The enemy loves that you so desperately want to be married, that you’re crying on your bedroom floor begging God for a boyfriend or girlfriend because you can’t handle being alone. That your attention is focused on finding someone to marry. He loves that you don’t think you will be happy until you find “the one.”

Because that’s right where the enemy wants you: so distracted with a desperate need for a relationship, you CANNOT live the life God has called you to while you’re single.

The way we build the Kingdom as single people is different from the way we build it within marriage.

And if all you’re praying for and thinking about is a future spouse, you’re missing the life God planned for you as a single adult. God sees His plans through to the end. He’s not going to give you “the one” until He’s completed the good work He intended to complete in you all along as an individual. It could be tomorrow, in a year, or ten.

He is a jealous God. He wants you for Himself, and he wants you to keep your life centered on Him.

Finding someone to spend the rest of your life should bring you an unbridled joy you’ve never experienced, but he or she cannot be your true source for happiness. Your future spouse–that very man or woman you fell in love with and thought could do no wrong–will fail you. This is why God needs us to practice keeping Him as our life-source before we bring another human being into the picture.

Making the most of being single is putting all your hope and trust in God. So when that person does fail you, they will never let you down. Because you’re hope is not in them to bring you happiness and a better life.

Because God is the only unfailing thing in this world.

Making the most of being single is taking the opportunity to become completely content in your relationship with Christ.

Making the most of being single is being 100% okay with being single.'

- Article taken from www.goodwomenproject.com/singleness/how/we-use-it